Belonging – lived experience talk

Overview

Talk on "Belonging – lived experience" by Sameem Ali

Speaker's Biography:

Sameem Ali lived in a children’s home until the age of six years old. She was taken back to her family home by parents and suffered child abuse. She was taken to Pakistan at the age of 13 and forced into marriage, returned to the UK at the age of 14, pregnant. After the birth of her son, she escaped to Manchester at the age of 18. However, for ‘dishonouring’ the family, her brother planned to kidnap her. He spent 4 years in prison for ‘conspiracy to kidnap’.

Sameem Ali formed a residents group In 2002, which dealt with issues that concerned local residents in Moss Side district of Manchester. The issues ranged from fly tipping to environmental improvements. This resulted in her getting involved with local politics.

In 2007 she was elected as a Councillor in Moss Side, Manchester.

As part of her job, Sameem sits on the young people’s scrutiny committee,

with the aim of ensuring young people are able to express themselves and achieve their goals.

In March 2008, Sameem published her Biography ‘Belonging’. It dealt with the issues of child abuse and forced marriage. It helped raise awareness about this hidden subject.

As a consequence of the publicity generated Sameem Ali is now a lead against forced marriage for Manchester City Council.

She raises awareness on the issue by talking in schools, conferences, television chat shows and other media outlets.

Sameem Ali has also won ‘ Fusion’ Woman Of The Year Award.

Overview

· Early life and loss of safety

· Growing up in an abusive and controlling family environment

· Learning to survive without protection or emotional security

· Experiencing early responsibility and fear instead of childhood

· Displacement and lack of belonging

· Feelings of invisibility, abandonment, and not being heard

· How systems intended to protect can still leave children feeling unsafe

· Forced adulthood

· Being forced into marriage at a very young age

· Becoming a parent while still a child myself

· Living without choice, autonomy, or support

· The long-term effects of having decisions made for you

· Trauma and survival

· Explaining trauma responses in simple, accessible terms

· How dissociation develops as a survival mechanism

· Why coping strategies formed in childhood often persist into adulthood

· Challenging common misunderstandings about trauma survivors

· Resilience and motherhood

· Choosing a different path as a parent

· Building loving, supportive relationships with my children

· Supporting them into education and adulthood

· Breaking cycles quietly and deliberately

· Healing and reclaiming belonging

· Therapy and self-understanding later in life

· Learning grounding and self-compassion

· Reclaiming identity beyond trauma

· Finding belonging through safety, choice, and being heard

Key message Belonging is not about fitting in , it is about feeling safe enough to exist as yourself. By listening to survivors and understanding trauma, individuals and institutions can play a powerful role in healing rather than harm.

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